It’s the peace that surpasses my understanding for me!! 😅
But for real… as someone who has struggled with anxiety, peace is very important to me
I’ve realized over the last year as I grow closer to God that the things that used to send me into a panic don’t anymore. It’s hard to explain but I still have all the ups and downs that all humans do but somehow I just have this peace through every situation.
I guess knowing that I’m not fighting my battles alone is it for me…. It’s important to notice I didn’t say I’m happy all the time or I’m never sad but that I have peace.
“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart and minds in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:7
Y’all… yesterday I realized how much I’m growing as a person.
Yesterday I was just driving, actually speeding (uh oh) and minding my business when this corvette came up behind be very fast…
Now… I wasn’t going to move over to the right lane because, first of all sir I’m already speeding and secondly there were slower people in the right lane and I didn’t feel like going slower.
This man was literally behind me for 30 seconds before he was able to loop around me…. … ok
Do you know what he did when he got around me? He flicked me off y’all!!! Can you believe that? I can’t even believe a man would do that to a woman… but that’s another conversation.
But, my reaction is the one that surprised me. The former Christina would have flicked him off back, tried to speed up to catch him (a fool’s errand as he was in a corvette 🤣), or yelled through my window. But the current Christina just laughed and I actually said “God please help that person with their anger and how they react to situations”
True story y’all lol.
With all that being said… it’s Friday, the weekend is here, so let’s choose joy! Don’t let anyone or anything shift your mood, it’s not worth the energy.
I often have these thoughts that I’m not doing enough for my son, thoughts like “if you didn’t do this” or “if you did this more” plague my mind constantly.
Sometimes people tell you you’re doing a great job but you don’t always believe them and sometimes people tell you you’re doing a terrible job with your child and you believe them every time. (Why is that?…)
The only thing I have been able to do to combat these thoughts is to talk to God about it.
Praying raw, real prayers, asking him to help me with these thoughts and feelings of inadequacy and asking him for wisdom to parent the way he wants me to.
I tell people all the time that parents don’t always know what they are doing. The parental instinct does kick in for some more than others but honestly we’re all winging it.
My child is nothing like I imagined. The things that I like he doesn’t like, the things I thought we would do together we don’t…. I really had to come to grips with that reality.
I don’t think I’ll ever have all the parenting answers but I know that if I let God lead me and love Omari as God loves the both of us then God will get the glory and honestly that’s what it’s all about for me.