It’s the peace that surpasses my understanding for me!! 😅
But for real… as someone who has struggled with anxiety, peace is very important to me
I’ve realized over the last year as I grow closer to God that the things that used to send me into a panic don’t anymore. It’s hard to explain but I still have all the ups and downs that all humans do but somehow I just have this peace through every situation.
I guess knowing that I’m not fighting my battles alone is it for me…. It’s important to notice I didn’t say I’m happy all the time or I’m never sad but that I have peace.
“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart and minds in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:7
Today was my first time being baptized in my entire life.
Growing up in my family baptism was very important but it wasn’t forced on us. My parents always believed that our faith and our relationship with God should be our own and I’m so grateful for that. My parents provided great examples of living a Christian life and honestly they gave me a great foundation but I had to find my own way.
Of course if anyone had asked me growing up if I was Christian, I would have said yes, and while I believed that Jesus died for me I didn’t have a true personal relationship with him. I didn’t know what it meant to love him, only that he loved me for some strange reason lol.
In the last quarter of 2019 my journey towards this love began. I joined a freedom group at church which met every week for about 12 weeks and then we attended a conference in January 2020. At the freedom conference I had the opportunity to get baptized but I didn’t because I felt like my family and other friends should be there to celebrate with me, especially my mom. After that I decided it would be so awesome to be baptized for my 30th birthday (April 2020), well COVID decided that wasn’t going to happen as many churches were closed due to lockdown.
But God is always working,
In May of 2020 I felt like I was hearing God tell me, “I need you to get to know me more”…. I literally heard these words. I was feeling him pull at me more than ever and I had so many questions I wanted answered. So I purchased a new study Bible and started reading my Bible from start to finish in pursuit of getting to know my creator (currently in Daniel 😁)
Fast forward to 2021
My relationship with my Lord and Savior is so much greater than I could have ever imagined. I talk to him everyday, I let him know my most raw thoughts and I actually love him!
Last week the Lord put it on my heart that it was time to get baptized so I reached out to my church to see when I could and today ended up being the day
At first this date was just random to me but it’s really not. The number 3 symbolizes the trinity and eternal life while 7 represents completion and probably some other things I haven’t learned yet lol….. and 21… well that’s 3 sets of 7… can’t go wrong there lol
Anyway y’all…. I just wanted to share a little bit of my journey and how God really works when you let him in and seek him with your whole heart and mind.
If you have any questions about my journey or you have this tugging at your heart you don’t know what to do with… message me, this is a safe space and trust me there is nothing you have done that I haven’t 😜
I often have these thoughts that I’m not doing enough for my son, thoughts like “if you didn’t do this” or “if you did this more” plague my mind constantly.
Sometimes people tell you you’re doing a great job but you don’t always believe them and sometimes people tell you you’re doing a terrible job with your child and you believe them every time. (Why is that?…)
The only thing I have been able to do to combat these thoughts is to talk to God about it.
Praying raw, real prayers, asking him to help me with these thoughts and feelings of inadequacy and asking him for wisdom to parent the way he wants me to.
I tell people all the time that parents don’t always know what they are doing. The parental instinct does kick in for some more than others but honestly we’re all winging it.
My child is nothing like I imagined. The things that I like he doesn’t like, the things I thought we would do together we don’t…. I really had to come to grips with that reality.
I don’t think I’ll ever have all the parenting answers but I know that if I let God lead me and love Omari as God loves the both of us then God will get the glory and honestly that’s what it’s all about for me.
One of my prayers lately has been to be more intentional with my relationships, especially the one with my son.
As a working mom sometimes I feel like my obligations take away from the time I should be spending with Omari. Something I feel like “wouldn’t it just be better if I stayed at home with him and gave him all my attention?”
The more I pray on it I can see this is clearly not the answer…. I’ll always work in some capacity so how can I be more intentional in being present while spending time with Omari (and everyone else in my life…)
I’ve seen that being intentional with my relationship with God is helping in every other relationship I have. It’s honestly amazing to watch him move and answer every prayer in his time.
I encourage you all to put your relationship with your creator first and watch everything else fall into place. ❤️