Mom Brain & Mom Love

Something happened to my brain when I became a mom. The way I think about and process everything has changed and I couldn’t go back to my old way of thinking if I tried.

It’s so crazy how I can’t ever make one decision without taking into account how it will affect Omari lol.

It’s honestly kinda mentally draining but it’s worth it.

So glad to be your mommy Omari 💙

Feeling Like You’re Failing as a Parent

I often have these thoughts that I’m not doing enough for my son, thoughts like “if you didn’t do this” or “if you did this more” plague my mind constantly.

Sometimes people tell you you’re doing a great job but you don’t always believe them and sometimes people tell you you’re doing a terrible job with your child and you believe them every time. (Why is that?…)

The only thing I have been able to do to combat these thoughts is to talk to God about it.

Praying raw, real prayers, asking him to help me with these thoughts and feelings of inadequacy and asking him for wisdom to parent the way he wants me to.

I tell people all the time that parents don’t always know what they are doing. The parental instinct does kick in for some more than others but honestly we’re all winging it.

My child is nothing like I imagined. The things that I like he doesn’t like, the things I thought we would do together we don’t…. I really had to come to grips with that reality.

I don’t think I’ll ever have all the parenting answers but I know that if I let God lead me and love Omari as God loves the both of us then God will get the glory and honestly that’s what it’s all about for me.

New School Anxiety and the Solution

Omari started a new school this week! I’m going to be honest, this switch gave me some anxiety as so many questions swirled in my head, “Will they understand Omari?”, “Should we wait until he’s talking more?”, “Will Omari be ok?”.

I prayed about this everyday while looking for his new school…praying for peace, wisdom and discernment about the whole situation.

Happy to say that the first three days at his new school have been amazing and Omari is adjusting very well. We did have some tears the first and second day but they didn’t last long and his new teachers even commented on how well he was adjusting.

Today, on day 3 there were no tears.

I’m so happy to know that God answers all my prayers in his perfect timing. Totally in awe of him

Omari in his new school uniform🥰

Being Intentional

One of my prayers lately has been to be more intentional with my relationships, especially the one with my son.

As a working mom sometimes I feel like my obligations take away from the time I should be spending with Omari. Something I feel like “wouldn’t it just be better if I stayed at home with him and gave him all my attention?”

The more I pray on it I can see this is clearly not the answer…. I’ll always work in some capacity so how can I be more intentional in being present while spending time with Omari (and everyone else in my life…)

I’ve seen that being intentional with my relationship with God is helping in every other relationship I have. It’s honestly amazing to watch him move and answer every prayer in his time.

I encourage you all to put your relationship with your creator first and watch everything else fall into place. ❤️

The Shift in My Perspective on Motherhood

Before I became a parent I had this idea of the mother I would be, how my children would be, all the things we would do together, etc.

Fast forward to me actually being a mother and I’m not sure if it’s exactly how I expected it would be.

I think I expected it to be easy to teach Omari, that he would be this perfect little child that did everything perfectly and that’s just not how life is.

I’m learning that Omari does not belong to me, he belongs to God and that I need to throw these little “plans” I had out the window and let God have his way.

Often we can’t see God’s plan but I find great comfort in knowing he has one and that I just need to be in position and play my part.

Omari will be fine, he will be great, God knew him before he even put him in my womb and he has great plans for him. Amen.